Thursday, January 31, 2008
EKA's RJ
Question : write downone nice thing about your classmates except sam and shudan.
And EKA is so sweet ...
Luvina: My bubbly and fun loving friend.
James: The most creative guy in class and funny as hell.
Mes: The best "MAT" Ive ever known.
Zawiyah: One of the smartest girl in class who knows how to have great fun.
Kaths: The good looking and funny friend.
Jia Hao: The clown of the class. HILARIOUS guy.
Hui Yu: The noisiest brace-faced girl.
Vivian: The girl with the sweetest disposition.
Jonathan: The Mr. Nice-guy.
Senifer: The witty guy.
Nic: The quiet but nice guy.
Afi: Mr. Wiseguy.
Hui Fang: The one who really goes for GPA.
Xiao Han: The most matured girl.
Chen Jing: The sweet sweet girl.
Hanxi: The mathematician and scientist of the class.
Shan: The inspiring musician.
Jing Wen: The quiet but really REALLY funny girl.
Holden: One of the best "guy" presenter with plenty of wit.
Kelvin: Busy busy business man.
BUT!!! she forgot about adilah.. lolx... she is so cute la...
then i asked what she wants to say about dilah...
this is what she say: "One of the best people I know." but before that she said that:"she is the most irritating girl" lolx ... we all know she is kidding la... ^^ i just love this class so much... they r wonderful people...
Question : write downone nice thing about your classmates except sam and shudan.
And EKA is so sweet ...
Luvina: My bubbly and fun loving friend.
James: The most creative guy in class and funny as hell.
Mes: The best "MAT" Ive ever known.
Zawiyah: One of the smartest girl in class who knows how to have great fun.
Kaths: The good looking and funny friend.
Jia Hao: The clown of the class. HILARIOUS guy.
Hui Yu: The noisiest brace-faced girl.
Vivian: The girl with the sweetest disposition.
Jonathan: The Mr. Nice-guy.
Senifer: The witty guy.
Nic: The quiet but nice guy.
Afi: Mr. Wiseguy.
Hui Fang: The one who really goes for GPA.
Xiao Han: The most matured girl.
Chen Jing: The sweet sweet girl.
Hanxi: The mathematician and scientist of the class.
Shan: The inspiring musician.
Jing Wen: The quiet but really REALLY funny girl.
Holden: One of the best "guy" presenter with plenty of wit.
Kelvin: Busy busy business man.
BUT!!! she forgot about adilah.. lolx... she is so cute la...
then i asked what she wants to say about dilah...
this is what she say: "One of the best people I know." but before that she said that:"she is the most irritating girl" lolx ... we all know she is kidding la... ^^ i just love this class so much... they r wonderful people...
10:47 AM
HAPPINESS
Happiness when my phone beside me rang
which means someone called
which means i wont be so lonely...
Happiness when i know that he called...
eventhough he just wanted to complant about his life..
eventhough he wasnt talking about me...
eventhough its nothing much we chatted...
Happines when we chatted through msn
although i initiated...
All those happiness within these period...
i am going to stop it...
i am going to set him free... no more..
no more.. i am going to set him totally free...
went to ton at westcoast after playing pool at RC...
very tired but now still in school...
actually wanted to skip today.. wanted to go home and sleep...
but then i decided to listen to him one last time...
i just want him to be happy and since it is something not so bad..
i shall just listen to him...
to bring the tiredness out of me...
to forget that my purpose is to sleep
and i went straight to school...
am i going to delete his everything... lolx... i dunno...
cuz i am not suppose to tell... ^^
i shall kept silent...ut do wat i am going to do...
how nice is it when the person you love most calls you ^^ Aww... so sweet... love love love
Becoz i love...so i decided to set him free...
Happiness when my phone beside me rang
which means someone called
which means i wont be so lonely...
Happiness when i know that he called...
eventhough he just wanted to complant about his life..
eventhough he wasnt talking about me...
eventhough its nothing much we chatted...
Happines when we chatted through msn
although i initiated...
All those happiness within these period...
i am going to stop it...
i am going to set him free... no more..
no more.. i am going to set him totally free...
went to ton at westcoast after playing pool at RC...
very tired but now still in school...
actually wanted to skip today.. wanted to go home and sleep...
but then i decided to listen to him one last time...
i just want him to be happy and since it is something not so bad..
i shall just listen to him...
to bring the tiredness out of me...
to forget that my purpose is to sleep
and i went straight to school...
am i going to delete his everything... lolx... i dunno...
cuz i am not suppose to tell... ^^
i shall kept silent...ut do wat i am going to do...
how nice is it when the person you love most calls you ^^ Aww... so sweet... love love love
Becoz i love...so i decided to set him free...
9:26 AM
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Went off half way through school yesterday as i was really very sian...
went home to take some things and was off to meet B
We went to the temple at pandan and pray...
lolx.. with some other friends la.. then spent sometime at the coffee shop eating...
they are all guys.. dun really understand wat they are toking
all i know it jokes.. so i am suppose to laugh.. rite?
lolx.. then i ended up smiling instead of laughing becoz i really dunno what they toking...
DotzZ!!
Today is suppose to be our Anni lor... lolx... then i realize i am wearing the 22 shirt... lolx... so coincidence rite.. lolx... i am so very happy that he actually msn me wishing me happy "anni" lolx..
and i realise he is slimming down le.. lolx...
hmm... anyway... i tink i am going to join police force ler!! lolx.. should be... i tink so..
thought of this question for very long ler... and i tink its time i make a decision... i tink i am going to join police force!! i must built up my confidence!! yeah!
vivian JIAYOU!
i am stubborn... but i like it this way... having the determination to never give up on you... my soulmate ^^
Vivian! GAnbaTte!! ^^
went home to take some things and was off to meet B
We went to the temple at pandan and pray...
lolx.. with some other friends la.. then spent sometime at the coffee shop eating...
they are all guys.. dun really understand wat they are toking
all i know it jokes.. so i am suppose to laugh.. rite?
lolx.. then i ended up smiling instead of laughing becoz i really dunno what they toking...
DotzZ!!
Today is suppose to be our Anni lor... lolx... then i realize i am wearing the 22 shirt... lolx... so coincidence rite.. lolx... i am so very happy that he actually msn me wishing me happy "anni" lolx..
and i realise he is slimming down le.. lolx...
hmm... anyway... i tink i am going to join police force ler!! lolx.. should be... i tink so..
thought of this question for very long ler... and i tink its time i make a decision... i tink i am going to join police force!! i must built up my confidence!! yeah!
vivian JIAYOU!
i am stubborn... but i like it this way... having the determination to never give up on you... my soulmate ^^
Vivian! GAnbaTte!! ^^
9:22 AM
Monday, January 21, 2008
Went to God ma hse today to celebrate daddy'e birthday...
Then at night my KOR KOR drive me home...
before that we went to cause way point to shop shop...
He want to buy new year clothes...
and he bought a white shirt from bossini... lolx..
then we went to pasamalam an the home...
He is so handsome.. lolx.. cutie... lolx...
then i tink of dear dear again.. how i wish i have the authority to buy him clothes too...
Dear's always the first in my mind.. in my heart... as long as i am alive...
tears on my cheeks again... am i going to be like this for another 10 years if he is not back?
i dunno... i love him... thats all i know.. its true love... it is...
i just want him to be happy...
he's my life...
life is meaningless without him...
Then at night my KOR KOR drive me home...
before that we went to cause way point to shop shop...
He want to buy new year clothes...
and he bought a white shirt from bossini... lolx..
then we went to pasamalam an the home...
He is so handsome.. lolx.. cutie... lolx...
then i tink of dear dear again.. how i wish i have the authority to buy him clothes too...
Dear's always the first in my mind.. in my heart... as long as i am alive...
tears on my cheeks again... am i going to be like this for another 10 years if he is not back?
i dunno... i love him... thats all i know.. its true love... it is...
i just want him to be happy...
he's my life...
life is meaningless without him...
12:46 AM
Saturday, January 19, 2008
random pictures
My new bikini...9:09 PM
Now... i really really miss him so much...
if only everything were like the past...
When is my dear going to be back to me??...
if only everything were like the past...
When is my dear going to be back to me??...
7:36 AM
Disappointed...
i was so looking forward to the leg run today!!!
tried to call lu last night for alot of times and she did not answer... guess she slept?
then in the morning woke up and i saw msges from luvina...
she is not coming ler...
thanks the the CHILLI powder... omg... told them not to eat ler... no one listens to me...
i am so disappointed...
why does everything planned always have to go mess at the end of the day??
relationship has been like this... friendship too...
i really dunno how... i only know that i cannot trust anyone anymore... (not refering to Lu)
but i just feel that everything doesn't goes as smoothly as planned... so sad...
And at this point of time... no one is here to console me... no one.. just no one... cuz i have to more darling to tok too...
If only i could change everything to be as smoothly as possible... haix...
i was so looking forward to the leg run today!!!
tried to call lu last night for alot of times and she did not answer... guess she slept?
then in the morning woke up and i saw msges from luvina...
she is not coming ler...
thanks the the CHILLI powder... omg... told them not to eat ler... no one listens to me...
i am so disappointed...
why does everything planned always have to go mess at the end of the day??
relationship has been like this... friendship too...
i really dunno how... i only know that i cannot trust anyone anymore... (not refering to Lu)
but i just feel that everything doesn't goes as smoothly as planned... so sad...
And at this point of time... no one is here to console me... no one.. just no one... cuz i have to more darling to tok too...
If only i could change everything to be as smoothly as possible... haix...
7:30 AM
Friday, January 18, 2008
What HAPPEN...
Actually i dunno what happen to B...
these few days he seems very stress and very fed up with things...
although i do not know the real reason of it... i hope that he is ok...
i am just so worried...
he use to share everything and everyproblem with me and listen to my comments...
now... i really dunno how... worried and scared...
+so sad...
i really hope he is ok... i miss the past so much...
i use to feel very tired when he always tell me all those thing...
now i really regreted... i hope he could just nag at me in my ears so much till i become deaf...
questions appeared in my mind...
is he ok? what happen to him? how can i help? can i console him? can i be beside him?
just what can i do? i just wanna help!!
but all the answers just dun appear in my mind...
i just hope he is fine... i really misses him so much...
feel like hugging that fatty boy boy who is slimming down now...
i realize how much i love him and how much i need him... when he is gone...
praying every night and hope my wishes and dreams would come true...
Actually i dunno what happen to B...
these few days he seems very stress and very fed up with things...
although i do not know the real reason of it... i hope that he is ok...
i am just so worried...
he use to share everything and everyproblem with me and listen to my comments...
now... i really dunno how... worried and scared...
+so sad...
i really hope he is ok... i miss the past so much...
i use to feel very tired when he always tell me all those thing...
now i really regreted... i hope he could just nag at me in my ears so much till i become deaf...
questions appeared in my mind...
is he ok? what happen to him? how can i help? can i console him? can i be beside him?
just what can i do? i just wanna help!!
but all the answers just dun appear in my mind...
i just hope he is fine... i really misses him so much...
feel like hugging that fatty boy boy who is slimming down now...
i realize how much i love him and how much i need him... when he is gone...
praying every night and hope my wishes and dreams would come true...
11:26 PM
3:44 PM
真实
你說的話 在我心中生了根
愛得很深 所以心會疼
記憶 在我的心中翻滾
是不是每一個人 都像我一樣笨
只怕再問 對彼此都太殘忍
我能感覺 另外一個人
我等 等笑容換成淚痕
愛在崩潰的時候 比較真
太多疑問 知道答案又如何
原來容忍不需要天份
只要愛錯一個人
心痛比快樂更真實
愛為何這樣的諷刺
我忘了這是第幾次
一見你就無法堅持
孤獨比擁抱更真實
愛讓人失去了理智
會不會是我太自私
拒絕更寂寞的日子
放不開 也看不見未來
難道這種不完美
才是愛情真實的樣子
愛得很深 所以心會疼
記憶 在我的心中翻滾
是不是每一個人 都像我一樣笨
只怕再問 對彼此都太殘忍
我能感覺 另外一個人
我等 等笑容換成淚痕
愛在崩潰的時候 比較真
太多疑問 知道答案又如何
原來容忍不需要天份
只要愛錯一個人
心痛比快樂更真實
愛為何這樣的諷刺
我忘了這是第幾次
一見你就無法堅持
孤獨比擁抱更真實
愛讓人失去了理智
會不會是我太自私
拒絕更寂寞的日子
放不開 也看不見未來
難道這種不完美
才是愛情真實的樣子
3:22 PM
一點點痛的感覺 加上一點我對你的思念
一步步靠近終點 再差一步我們踏上永遠
我不想不願不去承認我的執著
怕不知不覺無法忍住眼淚不流
是愛傷害了彼此的自由
緊握過的雙手 擁抱過的溫柔
所有的對錯 跟著腳步你一併帶走
11:17 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Bought two little Key chains from school's book link today... lolx..
Just find that look quite nice with birthdates
and the meanings on it.
mine's the orange one!!
lolx.. wanted to give him his but i know that he will not want it de...
he dun like these kind of things i tink...
nevertheless...
i tink i will have to chance to give it to him in future...
if not... atleast it resembles that i once loved a guy
who was born on the same day as mother teresa...
And i once love him alot... ^^
if only i do not get a chance to give it to him one day...
one's his and one's mine...
Anyway... chatted with holden on msn today...
he told me maybe i shouldn't just wait for him all the while...
He told me i might find someone better in future...
then i told him if thats the case then maybe i will give up waiting...
He replied... heart VS mind...
if i really love my bf alot... i will not accept others even if i say so now...
becoz, when heart VS mind... we always go with our heart...
actually, what he say is quite true la.. heart vs mind... ^^
Thats y i always believed that i will wait till he's back...
9:19 PM
Before the holiday which is the last christmas... My Favorite facilitator Mandy bought chocolate for the class...
she is just so sweet... as sweet as the chocolate...
9:11 PM
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
i really dunno what happen to my laptop... now have white spot again... omg....
last time.. whenever i have any problems on my computer or laptop... i headed towards deardear... but then... now... no more le... so i tink.. i just suan le ba.. let it be.. lolx...
last time.. whenever i have any problems on my computer or laptop... i headed towards deardear... but then... now... no more le... so i tink.. i just suan le ba.. let it be.. lolx...
10:55 PM
Gotten from Lu's BLog...
Do you believe in fate? Having to see someone over and over again at entirely different setting, or bumping onto one another in a school compound when there are like other seven thousands (just a random number) of pupils at the same time?
How about believing in faith? Praying that you’ll see that special someone whenever you feel good about yourself or whenever you really miss him/her so hoping that it’ll be daydreaming come true?
i believe in faith... ^^ Lu's love
Do you believe in fate? Having to see someone over and over again at entirely different setting, or bumping onto one another in a school compound when there are like other seven thousands (just a random number) of pupils at the same time?
How about believing in faith? Praying that you’ll see that special someone whenever you feel good about yourself or whenever you really miss him/her so hoping that it’ll be daydreaming come true?
i believe in faith... ^^ Lu's love
3:49 PM
I woke up in the morning... felt alittle uncomffy... keep thinking him...
i had a dream... of me at my secondary school times... when he is still "ahbeng" and i am still "prefect"... lolx... cant stop laughing when i think of the moments...
I told myself... No more tears... i have to live my life to the fullest cuz he will be back...
he said he will and i trust him... last night... one last time we held each other in our arms... and when i saw tears... i trust... and i am here telling everyone to trust me too... cuz i will wait...
These few days... thank my friends for everything thing...
sisi msged me every night to check on me...
jing held me in her arms when i cried...
sorry for not contacting you guys for one whole day yesterday
i was with him actually... details will let you all know later k??
i finally understood his reasons to break off with me... i know he'll be back for me...
cuz he is still him! the one who loves me and i loves him... we will always stay as close with each other as we can...not physically but mentally ^^
Oneday, when he is ready... to step into a serious relationship... a commited relationship... he will come back to look for the vivian he once had... ^^
So... i must be happy cuz he had never left me... he is always by my side...
i had a dream... of me at my secondary school times... when he is still "ahbeng" and i am still "prefect"... lolx... cant stop laughing when i think of the moments...
I told myself... No more tears... i have to live my life to the fullest cuz he will be back...
he said he will and i trust him... last night... one last time we held each other in our arms... and when i saw tears... i trust... and i am here telling everyone to trust me too... cuz i will wait...
These few days... thank my friends for everything thing...
sisi msged me every night to check on me...
jing held me in her arms when i cried...
sorry for not contacting you guys for one whole day yesterday
i was with him actually... details will let you all know later k??
i finally understood his reasons to break off with me... i know he'll be back for me...
cuz he is still him! the one who loves me and i loves him... we will always stay as close with each other as we can...not physically but mentally ^^
Oneday, when he is ready... to step into a serious relationship... a commited relationship... he will come back to look for the vivian he once had... ^^
So... i must be happy cuz he had never left me... he is always by my side...
8:25 AM
Sunday, January 13, 2008
As days go on...
I started to have no mood for everything... and everything seems to bring me to think of him... but then... i always calm myself down telling myself that this is reality... no matter how my parents encourage me to go find him... express my love again... i tink... it isn't the right time ba...
everything came too late... i guess... and i tink i am the only girl who will know what kind of girl he wants... so... i will try to be... and i believe i will succeed!
maybe after afew years down the road after he had enjoyed enough... he might come back for me... becoz... he still don't wanna settle with one yet...
dreamt of him last night... although i know it is a dream... it is so real... "holding hands walking down bugis..." such a simple dream... but thats so nice... ^^ if only that could happen again...
Tml i going to meet sisi swim swim... i really wanna swim... to do everything... i just wanna fill my mind up... i tink...
all those precious moments we spent together, i will remember for the rest of my life... just becoz its you... i'm so happy, my mum actually tell me to go for my love... so.. i have decided to wait... my mum says... as long as i have patience, no matter how harsh he treats me... as long as i am confident... i will... succeed...
tears roll down my cheek everynight... becoz when i realize my parents accepted us... its too late... in the coming holiday... actually planned to spent time together with him... however, things changes... so... plannings cancelled.
In the past... i knew this day would come... so... everytime when i have chance... i will try to describe his face... look at him.... even when he ask me what am i looking... i will just tell him i am looking lo... actually trying remember his face... so that oneday... like today... i could remember his face even when i close my eyes...
i've learnt alot from him... now.... nolonger the weakling girl... who fears of everything... now.. i face everything... just like how i have to face this reality... wonderful things are surpose to be in dreams... not reality... they eventually have to go back to dreams...
All i know within me now... is... i really really misses that him alot... alot...
If he could read my blog before tml's end of school... i really hope that he will just come to the pool tml... i just wish that i could look at him once more... only if this is not a dream... cuz now.. i realize that even if i kept a wish on a star... it just wont come true... where's the fate that brought us together... Mr fate... please complete your job... please... please... please...
I started to have no mood for everything... and everything seems to bring me to think of him... but then... i always calm myself down telling myself that this is reality... no matter how my parents encourage me to go find him... express my love again... i tink... it isn't the right time ba...
everything came too late... i guess... and i tink i am the only girl who will know what kind of girl he wants... so... i will try to be... and i believe i will succeed!
maybe after afew years down the road after he had enjoyed enough... he might come back for me... becoz... he still don't wanna settle with one yet...
dreamt of him last night... although i know it is a dream... it is so real... "holding hands walking down bugis..." such a simple dream... but thats so nice... ^^ if only that could happen again...
Tml i going to meet sisi swim swim... i really wanna swim... to do everything... i just wanna fill my mind up... i tink...
all those precious moments we spent together, i will remember for the rest of my life... just becoz its you... i'm so happy, my mum actually tell me to go for my love... so.. i have decided to wait... my mum says... as long as i have patience, no matter how harsh he treats me... as long as i am confident... i will... succeed...
tears roll down my cheek everynight... becoz when i realize my parents accepted us... its too late... in the coming holiday... actually planned to spent time together with him... however, things changes... so... plannings cancelled.
In the past... i knew this day would come... so... everytime when i have chance... i will try to describe his face... look at him.... even when he ask me what am i looking... i will just tell him i am looking lo... actually trying remember his face... so that oneday... like today... i could remember his face even when i close my eyes...
i've learnt alot from him... now.... nolonger the weakling girl... who fears of everything... now.. i face everything... just like how i have to face this reality... wonderful things are surpose to be in dreams... not reality... they eventually have to go back to dreams...
All i know within me now... is... i really really misses that him alot... alot...
If he could read my blog before tml's end of school... i really hope that he will just come to the pool tml... i just wish that i could look at him once more... only if this is not a dream... cuz now.. i realize that even if i kept a wish on a star... it just wont come true... where's the fate that brought us together... Mr fate... please complete your job... please... please... please...
9:47 PM
Saturday, January 12, 2008
ThE SecOnd DAY...
CaN'T eXpEcT How I ActUaLLy Spent MY day today... I woke up in da morning... went online awhile and everyone was asking me what happen and telling me to be strong... haix... i know about that... ofcourse i know... haix...
then my mum bought me out to causeway... i did something so childish and so stupid... i actually bought the little bear that i named "ah BEN" but then this ben is not pronounced in english... it is pronounced in chinese... which means stupid... becoz the bear look stupid... and i bought it to shopping mall with me hugging it all the way... and everyone is looking at me...
keep looking at my phone... for nothing... lolx...
my mum... my parents who use to keep telling me that ben has bad temper and ask me to try not be too close... this time... they change le... my mum tell me to hug the bear whenever i miss him... and the words they say seems to be accepting him le.... my mum will tell me to look at the bear whenever i miss him and wait for him to come back... i'm so happy... but when my parents accepted him... he left... its just too late...
i dun understand why my mum ask me to treat the little bear as him till he's back... but i believe.. i am really going to do that... that thats what i am doing now...
i believe he isn't any happier either... we all have the "she bu de" in us de...
Just now mar ask me... why we break... i really dunno what to tell her... becoz... i also dunno wat reason convinced myself to do so... but then... since i promised... then i will have to keep my promise...
Vivian is the strongest girl on earth... remember?? ^^ so... she will overcome every single thing de!!
she know that she is being loved by everyone... she know... thanks!!
And she know... big girl dun cry...
and she will fulfill what she wants... their love is unbreakable... even when they are not together... ^^
CaN'T eXpEcT How I ActUaLLy Spent MY day today... I woke up in da morning... went online awhile and everyone was asking me what happen and telling me to be strong... haix... i know about that... ofcourse i know... haix...
then my mum bought me out to causeway... i did something so childish and so stupid... i actually bought the little bear that i named "ah BEN" but then this ben is not pronounced in english... it is pronounced in chinese... which means stupid... becoz the bear look stupid... and i bought it to shopping mall with me hugging it all the way... and everyone is looking at me...
keep looking at my phone... for nothing... lolx...
my mum... my parents who use to keep telling me that ben has bad temper and ask me to try not be too close... this time... they change le... my mum tell me to hug the bear whenever i miss him... and the words they say seems to be accepting him le.... my mum will tell me to look at the bear whenever i miss him and wait for him to come back... i'm so happy... but when my parents accepted him... he left... its just too late...
i dun understand why my mum ask me to treat the little bear as him till he's back... but i believe.. i am really going to do that... that thats what i am doing now...
i believe he isn't any happier either... we all have the "she bu de" in us de...
Just now mar ask me... why we break... i really dunno what to tell her... becoz... i also dunno wat reason convinced myself to do so... but then... since i promised... then i will have to keep my promise...
Vivian is the strongest girl on earth... remember?? ^^ so... she will overcome every single thing de!!
she know that she is being loved by everyone... she know... thanks!!
And she know... big girl dun cry...
and she will fulfill what she wants... their love is unbreakable... even when they are not together... ^^
10:24 PM
Friday, January 11, 2008
The Strongest Gal On EarTh needs a break at times...
Sometimes... letting go makes relationship stronger...
i am the vivian
who is crying now after so long
just becoz on the 11 jan the clocks hit 12
this means no contact... for one month...
but vivian is brave...
vivian is strong...
i hold on so long
i waited so long
but when the clock hits 12...
i burst like hell
after so long
i finally cried
after so long
it had ended...
he gave me a kiss through msn...
just to show it hits the clock 12...
vivian is brave
vivian is strong...
who looks into the mirror
whos face look red
whos tears floods
and its just for today
she told herself
she cannot cry
but sometimes... just that sometimes...
when she cant take it...
after so long she hide...
she will cry it out loud...
the only place she'll do it...
is when she enter the toilet...
her home toilet...
she needs time... she really do...
she'll do it... for her future too...
she promise she will...
she promise she will...
she'll be who she wants...
oneday when times mature...
Sometimes... letting go makes relationship stronger...
i am the vivian
who is crying now after so long
just becoz on the 11 jan the clocks hit 12
this means no contact... for one month...
but vivian is brave...
vivian is strong...
i hold on so long
i waited so long
but when the clock hits 12...
i burst like hell
after so long
i finally cried
after so long
it had ended...
he gave me a kiss through msn...
just to show it hits the clock 12...
vivian is brave
vivian is strong...
who looks into the mirror
whos face look red
whos tears floods
and its just for today
she told herself
she cannot cry
but sometimes... just that sometimes...
when she cant take it...
after so long she hide...
she will cry it out loud...
the only place she'll do it...
is when she enter the toilet...
her home toilet...
she needs time... she really do...
she'll do it... for her future too...
she promise she will...
she promise she will...
she'll be who she wants...
oneday when times mature...
11:57 PM
Thursday, January 10, 2008
6:28 PM
Went to school today a little special, i did not called dear in the morning cuz i believe that he wouldn't want me to do so too. din't contact him at all as he wished. when i step into the school, i thought to myself ' i have to be brave '. So when all my classmates teased me about me and my bf as they do not know what has happen. i controlled and did not even drop a tear or even look sad.
I know there are still hope... whether it is just a 1 % or not. i know that there is cuz the answer is not out yet. i may have trouble completing this week but i have to overcome it. Love is not keeping the guy by your side but to make him happy.
I am actually surprize that since yesterday, i did not drop a tear, this shows that i have grown up. i know how to control myself... no matter how sad i am...
Everyday in school and at home... i will smile... i will try to smile...
until i get the answer... until the day... i will still smile... cuz i know there is still chance...
I know there are still hope... whether it is just a 1 % or not. i know that there is cuz the answer is not out yet. i may have trouble completing this week but i have to overcome it. Love is not keeping the guy by your side but to make him happy.
I am actually surprize that since yesterday, i did not drop a tear, this shows that i have grown up. i know how to control myself... no matter how sad i am...
Everyday in school and at home... i will smile... i will try to smile...
until i get the answer... until the day... i will still smile... cuz i know there is still chance...
6:07 PM
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Afew days ago
i went back to school
to my own class
and met my playmates
everything seems fine
where i felt love everywhere
even at home when my parents yelled
i dont mind cuz i know its love
afew days ago i wrote my previous blog
where i said i misses the guy who is my bf
who would call me every night
and kiss me good night
But now i misses the guy
who hurt me today
just like the past
again and again
i wanted it to end
but i would never know when
afew hours before school ends
he told me he had trouble and would tell me later
i waited for him after class ends
waited for 2 hours and felt disappointed
he told me he would not want to meet me
i rejected my friends just to meet him
he rejected me just becoz of his mood
he told me he is at library with his friends
i called home and no one answered
i called my sister and all i heard
is in the library with her friends at work
this time i know i'll be alone
whenever i need one i'll be alone
This time i guess i tried to change
reacted alittle different from the past
when i would disturbing him till he surrender to me
This time i guess i'll tried to change
whereby i kept silent and wait
to wait for the best answer he would give
whether i like it or not
i would still be silent
He wanted to be alone and all alone
thats what he would say to me today
to leave him alone to think about it
this time i dunno how long he would take
but i shall wait patiently
so i would get the right answer
Now i'm hoping the him would cheer me up
again this time and bring back my smile
so that i would be the vivi again
whom everyone loves her smiles again
i went back to school
to my own class
and met my playmates
everything seems fine
where i felt love everywhere
even at home when my parents yelled
i dont mind cuz i know its love
afew days ago i wrote my previous blog
where i said i misses the guy who is my bf
who would call me every night
and kiss me good night
But now i misses the guy
who hurt me today
just like the past
again and again
i wanted it to end
but i would never know when
afew hours before school ends
he told me he had trouble and would tell me later
i waited for him after class ends
waited for 2 hours and felt disappointed
he told me he would not want to meet me
i rejected my friends just to meet him
he rejected me just becoz of his mood
he told me he is at library with his friends
i called home and no one answered
i called my sister and all i heard
is in the library with her friends at work
this time i know i'll be alone
whenever i need one i'll be alone
This time i guess i tried to change
reacted alittle different from the past
when i would disturbing him till he surrender to me
This time i guess i'll tried to change
whereby i kept silent and wait
to wait for the best answer he would give
whether i like it or not
i would still be silent
He wanted to be alone and all alone
thats what he would say to me today
to leave him alone to think about it
this time i dunno how long he would take
but i shall wait patiently
so i would get the right answer
Now i'm hoping the him would cheer me up
again this time and bring back my smile
so that i would be the vivi again
whom everyone loves her smiles again
10:05 PM
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Happy New yEar People.
Today is the 2nd day of 2008
where student start their school
And i am still on holiday...
So exited...
went to my cousin's primary school to see her
during the recess
the small size little girl
who might be lighter than her bag
who look like the shortest among the shortest
and the skinnest among the thins.
And my youngest sister starts her sec life
Where she appears to be
the fattest among the people
and the short short among the tall tall...
And the blur blur
who lost her class at parade square
^^
i suddenly misses my secondary friends
when we were in uniform...
running not to be late... ^^
Luvina my darling msg me .... and loves
is all what she wanna say...
she is a simple but cute girl
where we will love her the way she is...
as clumsy as can be... ^^
I misses the guy...
my darling since 05
He look like a man...
but acts like a boy...
Who studys in the same school
and works in the same place...
we quarrelled almost everyday
but made up again & again
I misses this guy
who spent every christmas 2gether
who brings me to a club on NY eve...
who will scold me when i look weak
who will never make me feel better when i needed
who will not say i love you until i ask for
who will only make me listen
who will never follow
who loves to lead to control
who will make sure everyone is under him
who will hit everything except for me when he's angry
who has a thick skin but soft heart
who will want me to make him feel like a prince...
who will not treats me like a princess...
i misses this guy ...
who will not give in...
who always feels he lack of girls...
who like to flirt to every girls...
who make sure he is the "king"
but i misses this guy...
and loves him to the max...
As he will hug me when i need
kiss me when i miss...
console me when i'm sad
protect me when i am"about" to be bullied
show me the love behind everyone
show me the care when everyone left
And...
i just loves him...
Today is the 2nd day of 2008
where student start their school
And i am still on holiday...
So exited...
went to my cousin's primary school to see her
during the recess
the small size little girl
who might be lighter than her bag
who look like the shortest among the shortest
and the skinnest among the thins.
And my youngest sister starts her sec life
Where she appears to be
the fattest among the people
and the short short among the tall tall...
And the blur blur
who lost her class at parade square
^^
i suddenly misses my secondary friends
when we were in uniform...
running not to be late... ^^
Luvina my darling msg me .... and loves
is all what she wanna say...
she is a simple but cute girl
where we will love her the way she is...
as clumsy as can be... ^^
I misses the guy...
my darling since 05
He look like a man...
but acts like a boy...
Who studys in the same school
and works in the same place...
we quarrelled almost everyday
but made up again & again
I misses this guy
who spent every christmas 2gether
who brings me to a club on NY eve...
who will scold me when i look weak
who will never make me feel better when i needed
who will not say i love you until i ask for
who will only make me listen
who will never follow
who loves to lead to control
who will make sure everyone is under him
who will hit everything except for me when he's angry
who has a thick skin but soft heart
who will want me to make him feel like a prince...
who will not treats me like a princess...
i misses this guy ...
who will not give in...
who always feels he lack of girls...
who like to flirt to every girls...
who make sure he is the "king"
but i misses this guy...
and loves him to the max...
As he will hug me when i need
kiss me when i miss...
console me when i'm sad
protect me when i am"about" to be bullied
show me the love behind everyone
show me the care when everyone left
And...
i just loves him...
10:37 PM
