Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sometimes i really wish that i wasn't born the eldest, My life haven't been very good ever since i start to be able to realize what i was doing? From the day i know how to do many things myself, I had to triple the things i do. Am i not a human too?
I know i can be considered as a very fortunate kid since young as i had many loved ones around me to shover me with care and concern. Nevertheless, i'm still not very happy about the way i am living in.
Maybe i'm just not satisfied with many things that are happening at home. I am not sure since when, i started to realize i am becoming the worker of this home. Then i realize i hate to stay at home, it doesn't really matter whether i use to have a maid or not, am i not doing things myself?
Often, i would start to think of reasons for me to stay out late, just because i do not wan to stay home with her alone. I dun hate her, but me, to me, a home - isn't it a place for me to feel relaxed and a place i wanna be at?
Why do i feel so stressed to go home? To do the everything that only me and i had to do.
My dad will say:"she's recovering from the minor operation" so she will be resting at home, and i have to do everything.
That's okay to me, definitely okay.
I could confidently say, even if she is not on Medical leave, she is home, she never does anything... Not at all... other than shouting, screaming, complaining, what else?
I asked myself, when was the last time i ever tasted my mum's cooking? There is a blank to my questions because i don't even remember when...
I ... I love my home, I love my nest... but just realizing i love it more when she is not at home...
I hate it when i hear orders, especially from her... Why can't i be treated like an adult at home? don't i know when i need to wash and clean things?
If she just can't be satisfied to what i am doing, then why not do herself? Make a cup of tea! and she asked me to make for her when i am busy with other chores...and complain not enough sweet and such... where's her hands and legs???
I'm really tired tired and tired of all these... She is squeezing me dry!
Haix... okay.
I'm getting more and more agitated now...
I shall stop here...
I know i can be considered as a very fortunate kid since young as i had many loved ones around me to shover me with care and concern. Nevertheless, i'm still not very happy about the way i am living in.
Maybe i'm just not satisfied with many things that are happening at home. I am not sure since when, i started to realize i am becoming the worker of this home. Then i realize i hate to stay at home, it doesn't really matter whether i use to have a maid or not, am i not doing things myself?
Often, i would start to think of reasons for me to stay out late, just because i do not wan to stay home with her alone. I dun hate her, but me, to me, a home - isn't it a place for me to feel relaxed and a place i wanna be at?
Why do i feel so stressed to go home? To do the everything that only me and i had to do.
My dad will say:"she's recovering from the minor operation" so she will be resting at home, and i have to do everything.
That's okay to me, definitely okay.
I could confidently say, even if she is not on Medical leave, she is home, she never does anything... Not at all... other than shouting, screaming, complaining, what else?
I asked myself, when was the last time i ever tasted my mum's cooking? There is a blank to my questions because i don't even remember when...
I ... I love my home, I love my nest... but just realizing i love it more when she is not at home...
I hate it when i hear orders, especially from her... Why can't i be treated like an adult at home? don't i know when i need to wash and clean things?
If she just can't be satisfied to what i am doing, then why not do herself? Make a cup of tea! and she asked me to make for her when i am busy with other chores...and complain not enough sweet and such... where's her hands and legs???
I'm really tired tired and tired of all these... She is squeezing me dry!
Haix... okay.
I'm getting more and more agitated now...
I shall stop here...
12:17 AM
