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Friday, June 15, 2007

Hello! Just came back from the class chalet… I realize that 5N1 gals, The 3 gals, we share similar terrible story… we all had complicated love lives… it is just a Chalet for class gathering… brought out feelings deep inside us. We saw our past, the happy past…

Silent cries in our heart… yet happy faces have to be placed on our faces… just to show that we are fine… at first… I was wondering and hoping that someone could understand how I was actually feeling…

Since entered poly life… my life had been in a mess… I had to be fake… it is really very terrible… I can’t predict what is the next thing that I will do… it is no longer me… I can’t handle a lot of things… and ever since me and Him broke up… I had been trying to grab his attention… but no matter what I do… he is getting further and further away from me… I don’t understand… if all my friends could sit down and tell me that they understand me… why can’t he?? Instead of calming me down… what he did has made everything worse…

He blamed me… complaint that I had changed… did he ever think of the reason that I would do this…? I had no choice… I couldn’t hide my feelings as well as sisi and Jing, I really can’t… I had been controlling myself… telling myself that I still can hope for tomorrow… but it is not like that… as days pass… I can’t find back the past… Life is meaningless to us now…

Yesterday, me and sisi nearly drowned in the pool… at that point of time…I felt her... I felt her and me having the same thought… we really thought of ending our life just like that… at least we can no longer think so much… but I know I can’t… I promised someone that I would treasure my life…

In our minds… everything just happened so fast… so easily… sometimes, I really wonder… why can’t we be like the other gals? To change our minds so easily, why can’t we just switch to another target… I wanna find my happiness back!


Signing off:
~vIan~
BrEaDmAsTeR**
The LoNeR~

I AM Little Miss GRUMPY Toast .
3:56 PM


♥ The Grumpy Toast ;